Safe Sex Tips

Safe Sex Tips

We have decided to start creating safe sex tips (only for male/male sex, but they may also apply to other types). Since Yaoi is fiction and is many times unrealistic it is important for us to know the correct information, especially for all the Yaoi fan boys.

Any links may take you to sites that may have graphic content or/and may be meant for 18+. Realize this before you click the link.

These tips are from different sites and are from professionals.

Remember their is nothing wrong or dirty about learning the proper way to have gay sex.

Safe Sex Tip: Condoms

Although many think of them as being hassles, it is still important to use them every time. The risks of unprotected sex are STIs also known as STDs and AIDS/HIV.

Here is the correct way to put on a condom, http://www.getiton.co.nz/condoms-lube/how-to-put-on-a-condom/. Warning, the link shows a real man putting on a condom. If that bothers you then do not like the link.

  

Safe Sex Tip: Lubricant

One thing we see commonly in Yaoi is the seme penetrating the uke without lube. In the real world you cannot do that. Lube is needed in order to have anal sex. Always use water-based or silicon-based lube. Never use massage oil, Vaseline, baby oil, body lotion, or cooking oil. Make sure to use it on the outside on the condom and remember that the more lube the better. For more information go to, http://www.getiton.co.nz/condoms-lube/lube-up/.

Safe Sex Tip: Get tested

Go to http://hivtest.cdc.gov/ to find a testing location in your area.

Safe Sex Tip: Communication

Always talk to your Partner(s) Before, During, and After Sex.

Safe Sex Tip: Consent

In some yaoi we see the Seme going beyond the no or plain force the Uke, and of course this is fiction. But if you go beyond that no in real life that is considered rape. Remember to always talk to your partner before sex and if something does not feel comfortable with them the you should stop.

 

Safe Sex Tips: Safe Anal Sex 

It is very rare in Yaoi to see any preparations to protect the Uke from having pain during anal sex, such as lube, the loosening up of the Uke’s ass, condoms, etc. In most Yaoi the Seme just thrusts into the Uke and starts moving and the Uke feels little to no pain well this is happening. In the real world it does not work like that. There are many things you have to remember to do before, during, and after anal sex, for it to be safe and actually enjoyable for both partners. Here are some steps.

If you want to learn it step by step by watching it (Real people, but it is educational) and you are 18 or older, then click this link,http://www.getiton.co.nz/great-sex-safe-sex/how-to-have-anal-sex/.

Safe Gay Sex Tips: BDSM

BDSM

Ok, so this one is going to be controversial.

There is a lot of BDSM Yaoi out there and just about all of it shows the characters doing it in a dangous way. Whether you are for or against BDSM, it is still something people do and if done it needs to be done safely.

Below are the full guidelines from www.recon.com/

“Two common acronyms within the BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism) scene are SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual) and RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink). Whole books and website have been written on this, but much is down to your own personal judgment.

Ensure you know your partner’s limits. Talk about them in advance, either online or in person. And stick to the agreed limits!

If you are into bondage or any kind of BDSM play, agree a “safe-word” up-front. This is a code word that means “Stop!”. It should be something you can remember easily and that won’t come up in the normal course of conversation. When you say it, your partner knows it’s a signal that something is wrong and that they should immediately stop. Always STOP if your partner asks you to. A common “safeword” system is Red, Amber, Green:

Red = STOP NOW

Amber = Approaching Red

Green = I’m fine!

If playing with gags or any form of headgear, ensure that a safe action (instead of a safe-word) is agreed, as your partner may be unable to talk. Ensure that there is a clear means by which they can signal that they are in difficulty.

If you restrain your partner, check their circulation and breathing regularly. Do not leave a restrained person alone – for any reason – always be in the room with them. Do not place ropes around the throat, or tightly round the chest. There are courses available for those interested in learning about safer Bondage and S&M.

Keep a pair of strong blunt ended scissors (or medical shears) handy, in case you need to get your partner loose quickly. Avoid pointed scissors or knives as you could cause more damage.

Be aware that your play partner needs to breathe, so don’t cover the nose and mouth at the same time. Breath control is an extremely dangerous sexual practice. Make sure you know the risks and learn the basics of CPR/resuscitation.

If you or your partner have any specific medical conditions (e.g. epilepsy, allergies), are on any medication, or suffer from any phobias (e.g. claustrophobia), ensure both of you are aware of this, and comfortable to proceed.” – http://www.recon.com/safety.aspx#Sex

Safe Gay Sex Tips: Instead of Anal (Intercrural/ Other Non-Penetrative Sex)

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We see a lot of anal sex in Yaoi and mainly done un-safely, but there are other ways for gay men to be intimate together if they are afraid of anal. Information from http://gaylife.about.com/od/gaysexadvice/g/frottage.htm.

 

Safe Sex Tip: Preventing/Treating Anal Fissures and Hemorrhoids Caused Anal Sex

Fissures and Hemorrhoids

Rarely do we think about what may happen if you do anal sex incorrectly and Yaoi almost never shows what happens even though they almost always never use lube and just sticks it in. That is why we are here to tell you about these things.

Now this may seem disgusting to some of you but Anal Fissures and Hemorrhoids happen and if you do not know how to prevent and treat them then the situation can become bad. If you do not use a condom and a there is a tear in the anus then they seme has an STD or AIDS then then it the uke will be infected through that tear.

Here are prevention steps and the treatments for Anal Fissures and Hemorrhoids.

Prevention

-Soaking in a warm bath to relax anal muscles

-Stretch rectum slowly/gently before anal sex

-Use lube

-Be careful when using toys and when inserting the penis.

-Pull out when there is pain

Treatment

-Use Creams/Suppositories

-Keep the anal area clean

-Take oral pain relievers

Make sure to…

Check for

-Anal Fissures and Hemorrhoids after each time you have anal sex

-See a doctor if the above steps do not work

-Do not do anal sex or anything that can cause stress to the rectum until it goes away

Resources:

-http://my.clevelandclinic.org/disorders/anal_fissures/hic_anal_fissures.aspx

- http://www.hemorrhoids.org/hemorrhoids-treatment.html?gclid=CKzS7cCDnLkCFazm7Aod3lsAyA

 

Safe Sex Tips: Safe Oral Sex

Safe Oral Sex

In much of the yaoi we see there is oral sex done by one/ both or more then one character. Almost every time they do not have a condom on. It is important to wear a condo whenever there is semen involved. You can get many STDs from oral sex, here is a full list of them, http://www.realjock.com/article/1065. Once again, always use a condom and make sure it is secured.

 Safe Sex Tip: Anilingus

Rimming

Everyone who reads, watches, or looks at hardcore Yaoi has seen this. When the Seme is trying to get the Uke ready for anal and he starts licking his ass. This is fine in Yaoi but not in the real world. There are safer was to get the one who will be on bottom ready, like using lube, toys, gloved fingers, and so on. But if you must do it, make sure it is clean and use a dental dam.

More coming soon. 

Some of the best sites for learning about safe gay sex are…

http://www.getiton.co.nz/

http://www.gmfa.org.uk/

http://www.managingdesire.org/GaySexWithoutRegret.html

http://www.slideshare.net/AFAO/gay-mens-sex-spaces-as-sites-for-safe-sex-promotion-presentation

http://www.avsf.bm/gay.bi.htm

http://sait.usc.edu/lgbt/files/10%20Tips%20for%20Gay%20Men.pdf

http://www.erossf.com/safersex-folder/safersex.html

This is a cute Thai ad  about safe sex.

The links that are provided on this page are not connected with The Yaoi Addiction Society. 

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