Gunji’s not so Happy Holidays

Gunji’s not so Happy Holidays

Togainu no Chi Fan Fiction

By Sai Kaitou X

Gunji had never been one to celebrate Christmas. With his job, it was kind of hard to.
But this year, he was planning on making the best of it. Though there was one thing he didn’t expect to see that Christmas morning…
No presents.
He was sitting on the couch, feeling misery creep in. Needing consoling, he picked up the phone and dialed Kiriwar.
“OLD MAN!” he whined.
On the other line, Kiriwar rubbed his eyes sleepily, feeling highly annoyed.
“Gunji? What the hell? It’s 6am in the freaking morning!”
The blond gave a sneer in reply. “Who cares about that! Santa didn’t come last night. There’s no presents! Hell, there
isn’t even any coal! What, am I not good enough for that red tub of lard? I’ve been plenty good this year!”
Kiriwar just yawned. “Suuure you have. Wait…you still believe in Santa?” he snickered.
“Shut up old man! He’s totally real!”
His partner couldn’t believe what he was hearing. A grown man believing in Santa? How sad.
“Listen, I’m going to give it to you straight. He died a long time ago. And it’s actually the parents giving out the presents each year”.
Gunji just shook his head, refusing to believe what he was being told.
“How do you know he died? He could still be alive!” he retorted.
“I doubt someone could live to be that old, Gunji”.
“Yeah they could! What if he was some sort of secret project like Nano!”
The elder laughed. “Figures. He’d have to be as insane as Nano if he’s going to deliver presents to every single house in the world in one night”.
Gunji grinned. “So you do admit he’s real!”
“H-hey! I never said that! Jesus. I never thought you were this de…ok, I always thought you were dense”.
It was then that an idea popped into the blonde’s head.
“I’ve got it! We’ll invite Akira, Shikitty, Keisuke, Motomi and Rin over for a huge gift giving party! If I do this good deed to make up for all I’ve done, then I’m bound to get a s**t ton of presents next year!”
Kiriwar sighed. “You’re such an idiot. But alright, I’ll go make the calls. The last thing I want is everyone to find out my partner still believes in Santa Claus”.
The man jumped up in excitement. “Yes! Now all that’s left is to find some presents!”
Hanging up the phone, he grabbed his coat and made a dash for the door.

-

-later that day-

After fixing up the presents and tidying up the house, everything was finally ready for his guests.
Kiriwar sat down and rubbed his temples in annoyance. “I can’t believe I’m doing this…” he grumbled.
“Here!” Gunji said cheerfully, sticking some reindeer ears on Kiriwar’s head.
Looking up he sighed. “Scratch that, someone just kill me now and put me out of my misery”.
The blonde almost jumped when he heard the doorbell ring.
“About time. I thought they’d never get here!”
Kiriwar raised an eyebrow. “They’re only two minutes late”.
“Two minutes longer than they should have taken!” Gunji retorted.
Opening the door, he greeted his guests with a smile.
Though it was too bad his guests didn’t share his enthusiasm. But who could blame them?
Akira wasn’t looking very pleased as usual, Shiki just looked bored, Keisuke looked nervous and Motomi and Rin did their best to be polite and smiled back.

“Come in come in!” he said happily, leading them all inside.
“Take your seats, the gifts will be coming up in just a second!”
Gunji then skipped out of the room to fetch the presents.
Motomi looked over at Kiriwar, trying to stifle his laughter. The dark haired man growled in response.
“You might want to keep quiet over there. Or this’ll be your last and final Christmas” he said dangerously.
Motomi raised his hands in defeat. “I apologize. I was just surprised, that’s all”.
The man grumbled. “Sure you were”.
It was then they heard a giggling Gunji come back into the room, dragging in a sack full of gifts.
“Alright folks. It’s time for the presents!”
Digging around the sack, he carefully pulled out a large box and handed it to Akira.
“This is for me?” he asked. “Of course!” Gunji replied. “You always have that sad look on your face, so I got ya a kitty to cheer you up!”
Realizing his mistake, he quickly added “Oops…”.
Akira looked quizzically at the box. “A kitty? You mean like a stuffed one?”.
Gunji laughed “No, a real one!”.
It was then that Akira’s face paled, along with everyone else in the room.
Seeing everyone’s odd expression, he asked “What? You don’t like kitties?”
Akira sighed. “It’s not that. It’s just…arn’t these things supposed to have air holes in them?”.
Gunji looked back with a questioning look. “What do you mean ai…”
The blondes face almost turned blue in realization.
“KITTY!” he screamed, grabbing the box from Akira. Tearing up, he held the box close to his chest.
“Poor poor kitty!”
Everyone sat there in silence at the scene, not really knowing what to say.
Kiriwar then broke the silence with a small cough.
“Look, just forget about the damn cat for now. Haven’t you got more presents to give out?”.
Gunji wiped his tears. “You’re right!” he replied, sitting the box to the side.
Digging through the sack, he pulled out a box for Keisuke.
“Here ya go!” he said, handing him the box. “And this time I wont spoil it!”
“Um…thank you” he replied nervously, carefully opening the gift.
What he saw confused him. “A…set of screwdrivers?”
Gunji smiled. “Yeah! Everyone online wont stop talking about you and screwdrivers, so I bought ya some!”
It was then the whole room burst into laughter, leaving Keisuke with a bright blush on his face.
The blonde looked confused.
“What? They’re just screwdrivers. You know, for screwing things”.
The last line just increased their laughter, making Keisuke’s face even more red.
Wiping the tears from his face, Rin looked over at Gunji, trying to hold back his chuckling.
“I’m s-sorry Gunji. It’s just that…I just don’t think that was the right gift for Keisuke”.
Gunji didn’t look too pleased. He struck out twice already? Well, hopefully his next few gifts will make up for that.
Pulling out the next gift, he held it out for Shiki.
“Here ya go Shikit-”
He didn’t have time to finish his sentence, as the box was sliced in half.
“Hey! What did you do that for?” he yelled.
Shiki just smirked. “If my assumptions are correct, then I really don’t want what’s in that box”.
Gunji teared up a little. “But…it was a puppy”.

“And this box even had holes in it.” added Kiriwar.
Everyone looked over accusingly at Shiki, who had a look of surprise on his face.
“Oh…so it wasn’t that then” he said calmly, sitting back down.
Kiriwar broke the silence with another cough.
“I think you’d better bring out the next gift, Gunji”.
The blonde instantly brightened up. “Of course. I wont fail this time!”
This time he handed a box over to Rin.
“Thank you” he said smiling, quickly getting to work on opening his gift.
What he pulled out left him feeling really embarrassed.
“A…pink dress?” he asked.
Gunji smiled. “Sure. For a girl, you dress kinda like a tomboy, so I decided to get something more girly for ya”.
Rin didn’t look pleased, his shoulders shaking in anger.
“I’m…not…a-!”
Motomi quickly placed a hand on the boy’s shoulder before he did something he’d regret.
“Look, Gunji. Rin really appreciates his gift. But you have to understand. He’s not a girl, he’s a boy”.
Gunji’s eyes widened. “Wha? Coulda fooled me!”
Kiriwar closed his eyes and sighed. “Strike four…”.
The blonde growled. “This last gift. I know I’ll get it right!”
The next gift was promptly shoved into Motomi’s lap.
“Uh. Thanks”.
Everyone looked over curiously as it was unwrapped.
Much to their surprise, it was a large carton of cigarettes.
“Um, Gunji. Wh-”
The blonde jumped to his feet in frustration.
“I knew it! You don’t like them right? I’m such a failure! A failure!”
he cried, running from the room and leaving out the front door.
“Strike five” said Kiriwar.
Rubbing the back of his neck, he looked over at the rest of the gang.
“Dinner’s already out, so you guys go head into the dining room. I’ll go handle Gunji” he said, before leaving the room.
Motomi looked over at Rin. “I was only going to ask where he managed to get them. These were my favourite brand. Hadn’t a clue they still made them”.

Meanwhile, outside, Gunji was crouched over, crying beside the bushes.
Kiriwar sighed. Not liking the pathetic state his comrade was in.
Placing a hand on his shoulder, he tried his hand at comforting him.
“Look. You tried your hardest. Gift giving aint exactly easy”.
It was then they heard a clicking sound from the front door. Keisuke was holding Akira’s gift box, along with the one that Shiki sliced in half.
“Um…sorry for interrupting. It’s just that…the boxes are beginning to smell a little bit, and they were affecting everyone’s appeitite. So Akira told me to bury them outside”.
At hearing this, Gunji began tearing up even more.
“Ah, sorry” Keisuke said sheepishly, making his way round the back to bury them.
The elder’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance. “Just ignore that” he said calmly.
The blonde sniffled some more. “How can I? How can I ignore the fact that I’m not getting any presents next year?”
Kiriwar looked away in thought for a second.
“Wait…isn’t the whole meaning of gift giving…something like ‘It’s not the gift, it’s the thought that counts’?”.
Gunji looked up at his partner, looking hopeful.
“So even though you didn’t get them the right gifts, you still took their feelings into consideration, right? You bought things you thought they’d like. And that’s what counts”.
The younger of the two instantly brightended, his smile returning to his face.
“Yes! So I didn’t fail after all!” he yelled happily, jumping to his feet.
“Sure” said Kiriwar. “Wait…I just remembered something. How did you even buy these gifts? The stores are closed on Christmas day”.
A creepy smile was all he got in return. “I stole em~”.
The man facepalmed. “From where exactly?”
Thinking it over, Gunji replied “Well, the cat I stole from the old lady across the street. Mittens was it’s name I think. The dog I found in the park. The screwdrivers I found in this guy’s garage. He was fixin his car at the time”.
“Go on…” replied Kiriwar.
“The dress I got from the neighbour’s laundry line and the smokes I grabbed were from the guy who owned the dog. Turned his back to call the mutt over and I took em!”
Not sure what to say, Kiriwar just sighed.
“Sure. Now pick yer a** up and come back inside, before the brats eat all the grub”.
Gunji quickly followed. “Hehe. Merry Christmas old man!”
“Yeah, Merry Christmas” the elder replied.

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